The place I want to be!

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in the court of law".

Sounds familiar? Those words have found their way into our sub-consciouness. They have shut us up  too many a time. The fear of  our words used against us, the fear of being stigmatized by what we have to say ( or write), the fear of being victimized or jeered by our very own words keep us silent. No wonder, we have so many things we would rather leave unsaid. If our words can get us into trouble, playing mute might  seem safer.  So we let things be. And the things eat us deep inside . Things shrouded in deafening silence. Someone once said, "a closed mouth is a closed destiny". I couldn't agree less. For words  ( spoken or written)are the expressions of inner thoughts,dreams, desires, questions and ideas. When they find their way out, they bring solutions, healing, solutions, information and the speaker finds release. These make it necessary to combat anything that wants to quieten or silent anyone from speaking up and out.

The fight for equal rights, climate change etc have made progress with the help of technology. With technology has come innovation of electronic media and other digital tools. Today , sitted in a room in a small town in a developing  country, I can have the world at my finger tips.  With an Android phone or laptop, I can interact with people, gain information, engage in discourse , advocate,buy or sell, socialize and even study on the internet.  My change making journey has been transformed by using my social media platforms to advocate for girls to get sponsorship to stay in school and to end menstrual poverty. This cause is gaining visibility, thanks to technology. Never had  technology offered more interests, fascinations and opportunities than now. Yet, people are more traumatized than ever. Still recovering from the COVID-19 pandemic, the  ongoing Ukrainian-Russia war, the most recent Türkiye-Syria earth quake and the elections close by in Nigeria, the news have been very depressing. People are traumatized and indeed these are chaotic times.  As if we do not have enough on our plates already. We crave for places we can feel safe. A place where we are  heard and seen and  can just be ourselves. A rendezvous to me, in these times , is logging onto a safe space, speak and be heard, even if my views don't fit the norm , listening and learning, pick a tip here and there, connecting and collaborating. And doing all these without the fear of being misunderstood.

Sadly, this is far from the truth. We have online violence and crimes to deal with.  With the digital innovations,   the fight for gender equality has made some progress. Women's voices and voices for women's and girls' rights are crossing borders and making impact. Through this digital tools women and girls are getting opportunities to Education, increased income from business opportunities, information that helps them run their families, and leadership and political roles. Now ,more women are part of those  making decisions that affect them and our world. They are gaining visibility.

A  report by Intel' s Women and Web Study on access to the internet shows that with access to Internet there is increased sense of freedom for women. With their freedom, they feel they can express them selves better and also  get Education and Empowerment opportunities.  These have come at a cost though. 

Technology has enhanced the forms of violence and inequalities that have been on ground. Misogynists have also used technology to upgrade their trade. The old trade involved making contact with victims, but with the internet, violence can be perpitrated without physical contact, they can cover more grounds. Cyber-stalking, cyberbullying, sextortion, trolling, identity theft, fixing ,death threats are just some of the things women face  online. Researches have it that more women are victims online than men just as it is offline. In a study by European Union Agency Foundamental Rights found out that 23 % of European women get to experience violence or harassment online. And that 1 out of every 10 women have experienced violence or harrassment online.

Fear of being attacked can silence women and girls or get them to self sensor themselves. For every voice silenced is many steps backwards on this journey to gender equality. 

For women and girls to benefit from the internet and usage of all digital tools they need to have safe spaces where they can express their joys, pains, concerns, fears, ask questions that might be considered silly and which may never pop up in some other spaces and yet not fear that these will be used against them. 

I think the following will make the internet more sane for women and girls.

* The Right to Freedom of Speech and Prohibition of incitement of violence should be promoted online more vigorously than it is online.

*Create more stringent Policies to safeguard women and girls as they use the internet.

* Teach people how and where to report online violence, attacks and abuse.

* Create more safe spaces for women .

When we come online, we want to be safe just as we want to be offline. And that is not too much to ask.